I’ve been a mom for almost four years now, and let’s just say there are challenges to every stage of motherhood – newborn feeds, potty training, teaching a tiny human how to eat, speak, walk, and everything else under the sun. There are very few things that are just for us anymore; many of our days are spent being moms. Which is fine, I get it. Still, we need something for ourselves, and mine just happens to be gaming.
Now, I didn’t start gaming when I became a mom. I’ve played video games since the GameCube launched – and spent many hours playing Animal Crossing and Super Mario Sunshine.
When I first became a mom, I actually stopped gaming altogether. I could never find the time, I was too tired to commit to anything more than laying in bed when I finally had a moment to myself.
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How Does Gaming Make Me a Better Mom?
So, how did gaming make me a better mom? Here’s the deal, there is a lot of overwhelm and anxiety in motherhood. Yes, it can be worse when you’re dealing with postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety, but there’s a fair dose for all moms. When I finally decided I needed to do something I loved and started gaming again, I was able to relax and de-stress, ultimately allowing my kids to experience a mom who wasn’t always riddled with stress.
Will it help all moms? Probably not. We’re all different and we all have different things we enjoy – I’m close friends with a mom that completes puzzles in her freetime to relieve stress and even know a few that go hiking on the regular. But does it hurt to try? Nope!
Getting back into video games allowed me to feel the emotions I pent up while parenting. I focused so much on trying to help and guide my children to understand their emotions, mine were being neglected. Depending on the game you play, you’re able to express and feel that emotion – such as releasing rage with an action game, achieving goals with puzzle games, or expressing creativity with building games.
Personally, I lean towards more creative and puzzle games. I love the feeling of completing a project as well as using my brain to solve a situation or problem. Both leave me feeling happy and in turn, I’m able to present my positive disposition to my kids!
Is It Possible to “Game Too Much?”
You’ve probably heard of video game addictions, particularly referring to kids. And, yes, you can get addicted to gaming. Gaming addictions stem from relying on gaming for escapism or avoidance of tasks. It’s important to ensure that you’re playing games to relax and not because you want to avoid the sink full of dishes.
It is also important to note that gaming is a way to help, but it’s not the full solution. If you’re struggling with severe anxiety or emotional suppression, you’ll need to do more than just play a little. You’ll need to identify the root cause and figure out how to solve it in addition to taking breaks and relaxing.
An easy way to help prevent gaming addictions – particularly when dealing with stress – is to rotate it with other peaceful hobbies. Reading, writing, watching pointless reality TV shows, and even coloring are all hobbies and stress-releasing activities I do in addition to gaming.
What Type of Video Games Should Moms Play?
I personally recommend staying away from violent video games – not because they make you violent, but because they do allow you to let go of rage and can quickly become an unhealthy outlet. Creative games, puzzle games, building games, and even adventure games are all great options! Every mom is different, so it’s important to find a game that fits your personal preferences.
While I own multiple consoles thanks to my husband being a gamer too and working for a few years at GameStop (getting the employee discount), I mainly play my Nintendo Switch. It’s a handheld console that is easy to take with me – meaning I get to play it while I wait on my toddler during speech therapy, or I can play while comfort-feeding my newborn.
Favorite Games I Recommend Trying:
Of course, there are a few games that I personally recommend trying if you want to get into gaming. Here are a few:
Animal Crossing: New Horizons, a cutesy creative building and exploration game where you create your character and customize your home and island.
Super Mario Brothers, a Nintendo classic. It’s a puzzle-style game playing as Luigi or Mario through multiple puzzle levels.
Disney Dreamlight Valley, create your character, and save your “valley” with your Disney friends! Some puzzle, exploration, crafting, and building in this one.
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, this is an adventure puzzle game. You travel through the world as Link, solving puzzles and defeating enemies. While there is fighting, the violence is minimal.
Minecraft, a building and crafting game that can be played in two modes: survival and creative. Very good for someone who’s not interested in a “storyline” and prefers just to tackle tasks of their choosing.
Lastly, while it’s not officially out yet (as I’m writing this), launching in February of 2023 on some platforms, but July of 2023 for Switch, Hogwarts Legacy! You get to travel the open world of Harry Potter and have your own wizarding adventure.
Did I Really See an Improvement in My Parenting After Gaming?
Yes, I did. While it did take a moment – stress doesn’t go away overnight – I was able to focus on the kids more. I didn’t feel as overwhelmed all the time; gaming gave me a “brain break.”
When you’re able to relax and calm your brain down, you can tackle those hard days a bit easier. Those moments when your kids discover the noise their play pots and pans make when slammed together or decide that today is the day the Hot Wheels tracks turn into swords – you’re a calmer you to handle the situation at hand.
I find I’m able to take the moment and explain the why’s and how’s of a situation to my toddlers instead of going straight to “we can’t do that” or “that’s not nice” or, on the really overwhelmed days just saying “no.” I may not be learning any parenting tips from video games, but it’s absolutely helping me be a better mom.